Is This Some Kind of Joke?

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers, which she ended by saying "God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, and good-bye grandpa." Father said, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know, daddy. It just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died. Father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later, the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: "God bless mommy, God bless daddy and good-bye grandma." The next day the grandmother died. My gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say "God bless mommy and good-bye daddy." He practically went into shock. Couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be OK. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived. He breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home, his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?" He said, "I don't want to talk about it. I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day. You'll never believe what happened to me. This morning the mailman dropped dead on our porch."

Random Links

My Favorite One-Liners

So what if I can't spell Armageddon, it's not the end of the world.

If your parachute doesn't open, don't panic; you have the rest of your life to fix it!

Remains to be seen if glass coffins become popular.

My doctor gave me six months to live. When I couldn't pay my bill, he gave me another six months.

I asked a Welsh friend about how many sexual partners he has had, so he started counting, and fell asleep.

I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one.

I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings - its a complex complex complex.

If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be "bad at following directions."

I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, because it was just collecting dust.

Say what you want about deaf people.

My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia, well he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what the snide bastard was thinking.

You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.

Inspecting mirrors is a job I could easily see myself doing.

Alcoholics don't run in my family - they mostly stumble around and bump into things.

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but then I turned myself around.

My ex wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!

They used to call it a jumpoline before your mom got on one.

Velcro, what a rip off.

I listened a Policeman do a talk on Heroin once. Couldn't understand a word he was saying.

The guy who invented autocorrect has died… restaurant in piece.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is definitely not for you.

What a shame it is for a family to be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.

Next up - Malabares.


Bloody Mary Folklore

  • Staring into a mirror in a dimly-lit room for a prolonged period can cause one to hallucinate. Facial features may appear to "melt", distort, disappear, and rotate, while other hallucinatory elements, such as animal or strange faces, may appear. Giovanni Caputo of the University of Urbino writes that this phenomenon, which he calls the "strange-face illusion", is believed to be a consequence of a "dissociative identity effect", which causes the brain's facial-recognition system to misfire in a currently unidentified way. Other possible explanations for the phenomenon include illusions attributed, at least partially, to the perceptual effects of Troxler's fading,and possibly self-hypnosis.