Is This Some Kind of Joke?

Late one night a drunk guy is showing some friends around his brand new apartment.
The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.
"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.
"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."
"How does it work?"
The guys picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "Hey drunk! It's 3:30 in the morning!"

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The Choking Game

Hypocapnia-Induced Dreams

WARNING: Do not try this at home!

Once, in about the fourth grade, on the playground at North Elementary School in Littleton, Colorado, I allowed some "friends" to convince me to try a little game. It involved getting down on hands and knees and taking several very deep breaths, then standing up abruptly while one of the "friends" stood behind me, wrapped his arms around me, and applied pressure to my sternum. I immediately passed out. Hyperventilation. On purpose.

I had a dream while I was passed out. I dreamt that I had fallen down onto the concrete when my "friend" let go of his hold on me. I had hit my head, hard. My "friends" called an ambulance, which took me to a hospital. I could see all of this in the dream, from my own perspective, as if I were conscious. The calling of the ambulance and the ride to the hospital and the transfer into a hospital room took up the rest of the day.

Then I woke up. I was still on the playground with my "friends". I found it hard to believe them that less than a minute had passed. I had a splitting headache, which is to be expected when you hyperventilate to the point of passing out. My "friends" assured me that they had not allowed my head to hit the pavement with any force. This remains one of the most vivid dreams (or hallucinations) I've ever had.

Here's the lowdown on the choking game from good old Wikipedia.

Next up - La aparición sangrienta de María.


"Hello", he lied.

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde